Archive for January, 2012

This is a really long post so sorry. I don’t often post personal stuff on here but felt I really should.

This last year has been quite a year for myself and my family. I have been trying to sit down and write this for a while, the wound is still deep and fresh but I need to.  I am worried I will not be able to adequately express my feelings to honor my mom. This last couple months has been difficult to say the least, but so many blessings and comfort have been given to us. My mom was such a big part of my life and to have that taken away for the rest of my earthly time is hard to understand.  The heartache of missing her is something I have never felt and cannot describe. My mom was truly an amazing beautiful woman inside and out. I am so blessed to have been given to her from above to teach me humility, love, service, sacrifice, patience and so much more. My mom fought a courageous and short battle with ovarian cancer. She was doing so great and just before her 3rd round of chemo she got viral cardiomyopathy and her body could just not fight it off. We spent her last days at home with her peacefully by her side. My aunt and I flew out the day she turned for the worse but by the time we got there she had very short spurts of consciousness. When they admitted her to the hospital she progressively worsened. One of the last conversations I had with her on the phone she asked me to go get her a 10lb bag of potatoes from walmart. lol I said mom what do you need those for and we laughed and thought the drugs were making her silly. She looked so beautiful bald head and all. When I sat by her bed she opened her ice blue eyes, and said “Whats wrong, what’s wrong” I replied nothing… it is all good and she said “you are lying to me!” I must not have a good poker face. That was the only time she talked to me while I was there. She did talk to my brothers, her sister and some friends and even perked right up on the phone and talked to my kids and Brian which was such a wonderful blessing and miracle. Those are days that will forever be engraved in my heart mind and spirit. Days I hope I don’t forget but sometimes don’t want to remember. I am writing all of this because I want to tell you about my mom but also because her passing has made me a different person as well. My mom always sacrificed her needs for others. She quietly served all those around her. Our kids were her pride and joy, she was the most amazing grandma that knew each one of my kids inside and out and they knew it. She has left such a void in our lives a hole in our hearts that cannot be filled. You don’t ever think you will outlive your parents and am so sad we will miss out having her here in all our happy and sad times. We were lucky enough to go visit my mom and dad during spring break last year and fortunately we took some family pictures. Since my mom has been gone pictures have become much more priceless than before. I often have thought of what if I forget what she sounds like, or looks like all the pictures I have can replay a memory in my mind from when they were taken. I wish I had more than I do. I regret not taking any pictures of her the last time I saw her. I just couldn’t bring myself to do it, I wish I did she was beautifully radiant. Ross took one picture and this pretty much summed up our last week with her. Ruby Sue would not leave her side, it was rare that one of us was not next to her too. I am sharing this not to be morbid but because it means it happened it was real and we all lived it.

Her hair grew back so much in such a few short days. The morning she went home to our Heavenly Father she smiled a big huge smile. I know she was being greeted by her Dad, brother, uncle cousins and friends. How great will it be to be included in that wonderful reunion. I have felt close to my Heavenly Father all my life, with my moms passing there were days I felt closer than I have ever been and also days where I felt completely alone. My family has been blessed by so many of you who are so kind and thoughtful. I have been brought to my knees in gratitude and humility so many different times. Besides my mom’s death my husband also was effected by a restructure in his company and was laid off in the beginning of 2011. This has brought many up’s, downs, ins, outs and loopidy doos. We never imagined to be in 2012 and still in that situation. It has given us a whole new level of gratitude for everything. Taught us lessons we would never learn other wise. Made us stronger in our faith our marriage and our family. We feel empathy on a level we never have before. We are ready for it to be over but know we can do hard things.

I was also privileged to have the opportunity to witness and document a beautiful sacred miracle, Angel Ali. Ali was diagnosed with tri-somy 18 during Kelli’s pregnancy. I watched in complete awe as this family took this on in an amazing and inspiring way. Kelli, her husband and children cherished each moment they had with Ali in the womb, her time on this earth. Made many memories with her even before she arrived. What an example of hope, love and faith this family is to me. Ali and her family have changed how I view a lot of things in life for the better. I am blessed to have met Ali and felt of her spirit and witness the great love her family has for her.  I watched as Kelli proudly shared her brief moments with Ali with her whole family letting each person hold and love her. It was amazing to see everyone greet her and love her and know that when she went back to heaven in a few short hours the same scene would play out with the same great love.  I really believe my my mom was there to welcome her home again.  There are few times you can have the sacred experience of the thinning of the veil between Heaven and earth I was blessed to have experienced it twice in one year. Ali and my mom and her example of service has brought me to a new chapter in my photography and I am so grateful. I will be updating my site with new changes in the next few weeks.  With the families permission I am sharing Ali’s video with you. May it bring you hope and peace and help you feel the love that our Heavenly Father has for each of us.



Angel Ali from Alicia Kinne on Vimeo.

New Page 1

This guy is such a heart breaker!! I cant believe how fast a year goes, seems like I just did his newborn session. Love this cute family and Mr. K has the most amazing blue eyes. Watch out girls of the world in 12 years!!!

New Page 1